mommy = belated update

Part (or most) of the reason why I can't seem to consistently write this blog, I have discovered, is what we like to call "being a mom". If Adia even catches me making my way to the computer, she pulls out her most guilt-inducing voice, gives me a half-frown with sad eyes and says "your not getting on the 'puter now?" And of course I'm not. I don't know why I would even entertain the idea...

But, I have found a way to sneak on at work, so here is my latest update:

Went to the OB on Tuesday (yes I actually made and went to my appointment) where I was officially told we are dealing with infertility. Not a big shocker but it dig sting a bit to hear. I also found out that with our new insurance my wonderful OB, who I have had since I was PG with Adia, is no longer in our network. I almost cried when they told me. But she was great and wrote down the next steps we need to take and gave me a rec. for a new OB.

So, Jason and I are talking things over to see how we want to go from here. Me being me, I want to try the more natural options first, so I'm looking into it. Jason is open to things he may need to do but I don't think is 100% convinced that we need to go down that road yet. So, we shall see.

The 1st step -

admitting there's a problem.

I am calling my OB tomorrow. I have finally decided it is time for a little look-see from someone who has a bit more knowledge on this stuff than I do. And for some reason I am so freaking nervous about the call! I know it's completely ridiculous but none-the-less, I am freaked. I know because I told myself I would call today, and, well, here we are tonight. So I figured if I wrote it down, I would HAVE to do it. I think it's almost more of feeling like a failure than a nervousness. I really must be more prideful than I think because even the thought of admitting I need help procreating really does not set well with me. Though I know that I know that I know that I know there is absolutely no reason to feel that way, I still do. But whatever, I'm doing it. tomorrow. definitely.